ones and zeroes

Better living through modern chemistry.

5.24.2006

terrible dream

i am sitting at my computer, listening to the blues.

my door bursts open. a man. a gun. a shot. I am standing beside myself, looking at my body slumped in my chair, blood oozing from a wound in the side of my head. I cry. I don't miss myself. I miss the things I was connected to. Everything is behind me, and it wants me to come to it, it wants me to let go and let myself slip away inside it and become part of it forever. THere is me, and there is Was, and there is Everything, and I look at Everything and I say but I want to stay and I want to know love like I've known it, I want to be with Lucy and I want to hold her, I want Love and all its physical truths, and Everything starts to drift away from me, and I have to go with it, or be a ghost forever, and I don't know what I did because I stopped thinking then because I thought I was going to cry if I let this dream continue.