ones and zeroes

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Back to the Future

I've been pretty absent from this little blog o'horrors for many-a-day now, so where to begin? Thanksgiving was without a doubt most excellent, followed by two delicious nights of The New Deal, and...god, my memory is fucking foggy. My mental diary of the past week is a haze of smoke, Super Monkey Ball Bowling, and Chipotle.

Anyway, there's really one thing totally dominating my mind, so let me share with you the joy of this past week of my life.


Once upon a time, I bought a game called The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time, and found one of my top 3 favorite video games ever (alongside Final Fantasy VII and Super Smash Bros. Melee.) The thing is, I was at a weird point in my video game playing high school life. Though I'd always had this knack for videogames, could always pick one up and learn the systems the game worked on pretty quickly, whenever I bought these longer games like Final Fantasy VII or Zelda, there were just so many fucking secrets and little side quests. So...I'd buy the strategy guide. And instead of using it the second time around to get all the secrets, I used it the first time around so I could really COMPLETE the game, completely. The games were so awesome I wouldn't get bored even though I was constantly checking the guide to see if there was anything extra to get in a certain spot, but ya know, it kind of ruins the mystery.

So a few days ago, I stepped into the shoes of everybody's favorite hero:


Starting out as a little young Link, I set out on my quest to save Princess Zelda and the entire Kingdom of Hyrule from the evil clutches of.....GANONDORF!!!!!!!!:


And I remember now in a way I may have never known how absolutely fucking awesome this game is. I think anybody would love this game, girl, guy, young old, it's just...the best. It's a story about growing up, learning, developing, and rising to meet your fate, and damnit, if I don't know what I'm gonna do with my own life, I'm at least glad I'm playing as a green-clad fairy-boy who has it all laid out before him. Yesterday I finally opened the door of time...and now I'm all grown up:

adult link

Faucet Fuckers

I'm totally an advocate of handless things...such as automatic toilet flushers and automatic sinks. Cause if you think about it right before you wash your hands, you're touching the same sink knob that everyone else touched right after they were done grabbing a hold of their junk (well, for us guys at least). So great, stick your hands under the faucet, water pours out, it's like god in heaven or something. Cavemen would shit their pants. Togas. Sabretooth tiger skins. Whatever.

But why the fuck can't I adjust the goddamn fucking temperature? My hands are freezing. FREEZING! Then I come back to my desk, where the sun is shining right down into my eyes and I feel like a character out of Camus' The Stranger. Anyway. I hate my job. Here's hoping for the Apple store.


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